


The last thing that I ever wanted to do (Was say goodbye to you)

by AllHaleOlicity



Series: Kollok stuff [1]
Category: KOllOK 1991 (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, and ive been watching kollok since like august, and that doesnt count as arrow imo, because those are all ocs, but in my defense arrowverse usually means next gen, like honestly ive only watched a solid 4 episodes of arrow this season, so im surprised this didnt come sooner, wow nikki wrote something that isnt arrowverse wo w
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22028899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllHaleOlicity/pseuds/AllHaleOlicity
Summary: New Years Eve nostalgia
Relationships: Mickey Jones/Tibby Devin
Series: Kollok stuff [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1585660
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	The last thing that I ever wanted to do (Was say goodbye to you)

12:01 AM, New York, January 1st, 2000.

It wasn't just a new decade, it was a new millennium.

Mickey sat on the couch beside the window in her small apartment. She's lived in New York for a few years now, but this year's fireworks were louder than any of the other ones. She didn't mind it. She preferred it compared to the sound of door slamming and yelling. The sound of the fireworks were considered quiet compared to what went down in her apartment about an hour ago.

She wasn't supposed to live this life, but then again maybe she was. She's always thought that things should be different, maybe this is just what her life is supposed to be. Destined to follow this path that lead to nothing but misery.

She really did think things would be different by now, had she known nothing would change, she probably would have just stayed in Kollok. Stayed with Tibby. Stayed with her friends. Her family.

But she wanted to get out, leave it all behind, find a new life that would give her happiness without a price. Turns out, everything comes at a cost. Even when you're across the country.

Her entire childhood was spent listening to the arguing of her parents, her teenage years were spent the same way. She wanted her life to be different. She moved away from Kollok, she went back to New York. She wasn't sure why her mom and Emily didn't follow, but she was glad they didn't. This was her new start, she wanted to be on her own.

That worked out, too. For a few months at least. She went to college, met a guy, it wasn't too long after breaking up with Tibby so she wasn't ready to start dating, but he was charming and she agreed to "study" with him.

Studying was just getting take out and watching a movie with your exams in front of you, but it was nice. He didn't know her as the Movie Theater girl, or the girl who was put in a wheelchair after an accident at a weird science building, she was just Mickey.

Kollok didn't exist to the outside world, she could forget it and everything that happened to her while she was there.

But sometimes the memories come flooding back, she can't stop it, she can't ignore it. The memories are just there. It's like watching a horror movie and feeling every emotion deep inside of your chest. Maybe it was the memories from Prime A, the memories she wishes she could erase forever and never see or feel again. Maybe it was the good memories, sitting around a table in Billy's basement, playing games with her closest friends, her only friends.

These memories come back and she can't talk about them. No one would understand her, and everyone would assume it was a dream if she ever tried to explain it. So she keeps them to herself.

This causes problems in her relationship. She already refuses to talk about anything from the age 14 to 19, now she has moments where she shuts everyone out and doesn't talk to them for hours. It looked suspicious, it looked like she was hiding important things. She was, but she can't explain that.

But she also can't have an honest and open relationship if she doesn't open up. So she doesn't have an open and honest relationship.

She tried so hard to find something different, to not be like her parents were. She wanted a happy relationship, she didn't want to fight constantly. Sometimes you're destined to be like your parents.

_Tibby wouldn't act like this. Tibby would understand. Tibby was there when it happened._

It's been a few years since she's talked to Tibby. Even longer since she's seen him. She has her powers, she could find him easily, make sure he's okay.

No, it doesn't matter now. That was her old life, she can't compare everyone to Tibby, and she doesn't have the right to check on him when she's the one that left. Besides, she hasn't used her powers in a long time, she wasn't going to start again now just because she had a bad fight with her boyfriend. She always has bad fights with him. They'll be fine. They always make up.

Still, it would be nice to know that the Kollok Radar is out there living their best lives.

Mickey sighed, reaching for the phone next to her. She didn't have to use her powers, she knew Em's number.

She dialed the number and put the phone to her ear, not giving it a second thought. Maybe talking to Em would calm her down, she doesn't have to say anything, she'll just wish her a happy new year and ask about the group.

The phone rang a few times, but then Em finally picked up.

"Mickey?"

She froze, she wasn't sure why, she talked to Em the other month for her Birthday. "Em..."

"Hey... Everything okay?"

Here's the thing, Em wasn't a therapist but she did grow up with one. She knew how to read people. If Mickey said anything with the wrong tone, she would know that something was up. It was New Years, she didn't want to bring Em down with her problems, she just wanted someone to talk to.

"Everything is great." Mickey tried her best to say it with confidence, she held the phone up to the window for a few seconds then pulled it back to her ear. "It's officially a new year."

"Is that why you called?"

"Yes."

"Mickey."

She sighed, she should have called Laura.

"Did you and Josh have another fight?"

Definitely should have called Laura. "Yeah."

"You two should just break up, he's not a good guy."

"It's not that simple."

"It is _that_ simple. You two fight a lot, you said you didn't want to have a relationship like your parents."

Mickey shrugged, "He's all I have." It wasn't technically true, but he is the only person she has in New York. Even as an adult she isn't great at making friends.

"You have me."

"You're not here."

"Then come home."

"I am home."

"Kollok is your home."

"I can't go back there, Em, you know why I can't go back." She could hear the wheels turning in Em's mind after she said that.

She wasn't sure what everyone else in the Radar was up to, but she knew Em stayed in Kollok. Whether it's because of that deal with Clarity, or if she just likes the wine there, she didn't move. Laura was working at the school the last time Mickey talked to her, but that was a while ago and anything could have changed. They all talked about how fucked up that town was, yet Mickey and Skye are the only ones who got out. Everyone else, as far as she knew, was still living there and pretending like 1991 never happened.

Mickey was pretending it never happened, but she was pretending it never happened in New York. It was the only way she would be able to escape it, but she still can't fully escape it. If that were possible, she wouldn't be talking to Em.

"A lot of bad things happened." Em finally spoke, breaking Mickey from her thoughts. "But, a lot of good things happened too."

"Was Teenagers in Outer Space a good thing?"

"It's the first time you and Tibby kissed."

_Tibby._

That's the reason she was calling. That's the person she wanted to talk to. But what could she say?

_It's been years, sorry I've been busy trying to forget everything about Kollok._

_My boyfriend and I are having another fight and I want someone to make me feel better. You're the only one who can do that, even without your powers._

_Remember when Billy destroyed the Grotto and I got all of those bad memories about you dying and I stayed at your house for weeks because of it? Can we go back to that time? The week of silence in the town because everything seemed frozen after that. It was just us. I want to go back to that. No blocking the noise of my parents fighting, no listening to Emily complain about wanting to move back home, no sitting alone in an apartment in New York on New Years because I fell down that exact same path my_ _parents did. Just Mickey and Tibby._

"Mickey?"

"Yeah?"

"Call him."

"I can't do that-"

"I'll send you his number. _Call him_."

"Em-" Before she could say anything else, Em hung up. A few minutes later there was a buzz on her phone, she looked at the screen and saw a number.

_You don't have to call it... But it might be what you need._

She took a deep breath, wrote down the number and dialed it into her phone. She's been through a lot of scary things in her life, most of them happening in Kollok, but this was a different kind of fear. What if Tibby's living his best life? What if her calling ruins it for him? _What if he hates her_ for leaving and never talking to him again?

She didn't have long to dwell on the thought, the phone rang maybe once before it was picked up.

"Hello?"

Mickey's heart sunk into her stomach. This is when it actually hit her how long it's been since she's talked to him. She wasn't even sure if it was Tibby, his voice was deeper, not by much, but deeper.

"Tibby?" Her voice was shaky, she almost wanted the person on the other end of the phone to tell her she had the wrong number.

"Mickey?"

_Nope, it was Tibby._

She took a deep breath and let it out a few seconds later. "Hi."

The other end of the line was quiet for a moment, she was worried he had hung up and she was just too nervous to hear the beep. But then...

"Hi."

**Author's Note:**

> I planned this entire fic out, knowing that at the end she would call Tibby and they wouldn't have a conversation IN the fic....
> 
> But now I wanna write their conversation, so I'll probably be back in a few days with a 2nd chapter


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